A recent show bio for me. LOL! thanks James Frederick Rose

Jen Perney!! Jen is a very lively personality on stage, pushing the envelope and making you laugh at some of the most untalked about things of the sexual nature. Some call it raunchy, some call it pervy, its really just Jen Perney at her finest. She hosts/produces a monthly comedy show at the Waltz-Astoria in Queens. A great time with some of the city's best underground comics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyqK2qJYv2U

Improvised Storytelling, featuring Mike Milazzo on guitar

Dear Ms. Perney, Smutty Broad Sex Advice

Question # 1 comes from :

Erik said...

How do I get my girlfriend to let me cum on her face?
PS
When I cum its alot, like Peter North ALOT

June 9, 2010 6:40 AM

Answer: So ya say you wanna spray her in the face, hey? Well I must first bring you back to a time in your memory. Remember when you were just a wee one and you'd enjoy a hot sunny day of water play in the backyard? That was always so much fun right? But then some dumbass kid would always get too excited and spray water from the hose directly on your face. Yeh.....and just as it was then, the hose down is still pretty much an un-welcomed surprise.

You could always mention to her that some fancy dancy face creams cost up to $700 that list foreskin and semen in the ingredients. VERY TRUE!!!!!

We are all very vain creatures my man.

---Over And Out---

Ms. Perney

Ask Ms. Perney- My first sex advice set

Q+A With The Pernstar-Penny's Open Mic 5/11/10

Next Tuesday 5/18-World's Greatest Grandson Comedy Show

World's Greatest Grandson returns on Tuesday, May 18th!

"The best reason to go to Greenpoint since escaping Poland!"

This time, the jams will be kicked out by:

RG Daniels!
Jen Perney!
Shawn Jones!
Katy Olsen!
John Murdock!
Stephanie Holmes!
Ed Larson (of Murderfist)!
sketch comedy from Rue Brutalia!


Hosted by the enigmatic Bill Chambers!

@ Van Gogh's Radio Lounge
147 Franklin St (btwn India & Java)
Greenpoint, Brooklyn
G train to Greenpoint Ave
9pm
free!!
go!!

May Carnivale 5/22-6pm this time kids..

This is the best one yet!

The May Carnivale is rolling into town with all new acts ready to simultaneously floor and elevate your ass! We're shaking things up again with a whole new flow to the evening. Without further ado...

The Story:

6:00 - The Doors Open
Grill ignites (open grill, bring your foodstuffs)
Hootenanny Jammin' with Joe Yoga and BZ (open stage, bring your toys)

8:00 - Opening Ceremonies
The Carnivale Theme Song
Crowning of the Random Royalty
Introducing the Rousties

The Players:

* Man pain explained by Umberto MacDougal http://www.facebook.com/pages/Umberto-MacDougal/191674025949?ref=ts

* The pleasant annihilation of your soul by Brian Sizensky's guitar and voice

* Unforgettable folk music by Charles von Rosenberg http://www.facebook.com/pages/Charles-von-Rosenberg-Music/328454279167?ref=ts

* Comedy by Liam McEneaney (producer and regular performer at Tell Your Friends) http://www.facebook.com/RadioLiam

* Sketch comedy magic (with violence) by Skinny Bitch Jesus Meeting http://www.skinnybitchcomedy.com/

* The veritable one woman variety show that is Scout Durwood http://www.scoutdurwood.com

* The Immortal Memory of Robert Burns preserved in the form of Mike Ogletree's musical storytelling http://www.immortalmemory.net

* Pure, unadulterated, heartfelt smut by Jen Perney http://www.youtube.com/plath80

* The Guitar God of Penny's Open Mic, Mike Milazzo http://www.myspace.com/mikemilazzo101

* Late Night Ramblings with the gentleman scumbag, John Murdock. http://www.youtube.com/johnmurdockonline

The Sideshows:

As always, the FEATS OF STRENGTH tournaments!
Staring, Rock/Paper/Scissors, and Thumbwrestling

Jen Perney's smutty snacks

Ritztory with Dave Ritz!

******

We're killing the sangria this month and going back to BYOB. The Compound has just had an infusion of new blood and we're going to tread lightly as to leave less footprints.

Art Show In The Heights Y'all - 5/1/10

"Art Show in the Heights Y'all", This is a free show Uptown! We'll pass the hat at some point so you can show your appreciation, dont worry.

This is where comedy meets the visual arts, Uptown. Its going to be a side splitting night, with some really great art!

Hosted by Sara G, comedian and actor

Comedy:
Esther Ku- finalist on Last Comic Standing, Friar's Club Roast panel member.

Jen Perney- Host of Wet Dreams Do Come True, resident at Waltz- Astoria Cafe.

Molly Knefel--Of the monthly show @ La Poisson Rouge "John & Molly Get Along"

Visual Artists:

James Rose- painter, http://www.zhibit.org/jamesrose

Lisa Dubois- photographer, http://www.duboisphotoart.com

Eric Clark- painter, http://www.ecishere.com

Tetsuo Hasegawa- painter, http://d.hatena.ne.jp/tetsurei

Music:

Joe Yoga-half of the house band at the famous Penny's Open Mic, creator of the monthly showcase "Grudge Match- Music vs. Comedy"

BZ Douglas-Creator of the monthly showcase "The BZ Douglas Carnivale"

Saturday, May 1st, doors at 7pm, art reception till 830 then comedy till about 11 oclock.

Easiest way to get there, take the A or 1 to 168th Street stop, Plum Pomidor is right there, 4009 Broadway! Easy, easy easy.

This show is FREE!


I also suggest trying some dinner at Plum Pomidoor the food is great, its a really cool place!

Jen Perney-One Smutty Broad- @ Lucky Jack's 4/8/10

One Wet, Smutty, Broad: An interview with Jen Perney

One Wet, Smutty, Broad: An interview with Jen Perney

Posted using ShareThis

Jen Perney Presents: "Wet Dreams Do Come True"

	Saturday, March 13, 2010
	8:00pm - 11:00pm
	Waltz Astoria
	23-14 Ditmars Boulevard
:	Astoria, N.Y. Very excited to be hosting this one night event, featuring some of the best of the best in up and coming NYC standup comedy. Featuring: Tim Warner Jaqi Furback Mike Recine Calvin S. Cato Hosted: By Your's Truly :) Waltz Astoria is a family run/family owned venue where I first got my start in standup comedy almost 1 year ago. Since then the owners and I have begun what I know will be a long standing friendship. They have offered me the opportunity to host, but better than that-BOOK a night of comedy. Thus the title "Wet Dreams Do Come True", for I am thrilled to showcase these hysterical comics, and better yet have them all perform on the same bill. Come on out and laugh your ass off. Waltz Astoria has a $10 min. for food/drink- NO COVER. However feel free to tip these fantastic artists as I pass around the hat. See you there!!

Beezy Douglas Carnivale-Saturday 2/20 @ 8:30pm

So excited to announce the second Beezy Douglas Carnivale!!

Mr. Beezy Douglas has organized one hell of an idea and has nurtured it into what is now to be an amazing monthly showcase of talent from all over NYC. I have actually been lucky enough to be named "House Comic", meaning I shall always be honored with doing a 15 min. slot at the shows.

February's show looks to be even more exciting than the first. The lineup is fantastic and the visual arts this time around shall be a new focus. We have Eric Clarke painting some fantastic mural/panels ala Carnivale/Circus style and some other visuals being done by fine artist, Jackie Neon. At the rate things have been progressing, It is safe to say that these Carnivale shows should be transpiring into a sorta Warhol-esq factory of sorts. A true Carnivale with sights, sounds & art that will dazzle the eye & tickle the mind.

Join Us Saturday Feb. 20th, 2010- starting @ 8:30pm.

8:30 - BZ Douglas (http://bzdug.com)
9:00 - Eve Blackwater (http://www.myspace.com/eveblackwater)
9:30 - Cal Folger Day (http://www.myspace.com/calfolgerday)
10:00 - Pat Hull (http://pathullmusic.com/)
10:30 - Emleigh Wolf (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Umberto-MacDougal/191674025949)
10:45 - Jen Perney (http://plath80-standupconfessions.blogspot.com)
11:00 - Comandante Zero (http://www.comandantezero.com)
12:00 - Sacha Chavez (http://www.myspace.com/lordlorax)

***The very talented artist Eric Clarke will be unveiling some of the new Carnivale commissioned murals that he has been pounding out as well as doing some portraits for hire during the show. So come see/listen to the show and give some dough to an amazing talent for a one of a kind portrait to take with ya. Lets support our local artists!!***

There will be some food and spirits at the start of the show but supplies are bound to run out quickly, so BYOB bitches!

From the L:

Get off at Morgan and exit at Bogart St. Turn right onto Bogart and walk to Flushing. Cross Flushing and turn left, the next street on your right is Forrest, turn right and go up to the big red door.

From the JMZ:

Get off at Flushing and walk east on Flushing past Bushwick and Central until you get to Forrest St. and turn right and go up to the big red door.

There's no buzzer, but I'll have a list of people's numbers you can call who will be manning the door all night. Just think of it as a security measure to keep out the hooliganery.

Grudge Match 2/17/10-8pm **FREE SHOW**

Wednesday Feb 17, 2010
8pm-10pm
Marfa Music @ Lucky Cheng's
24 First Ave @ 2nd St (F to 2nd ave)
FREE SHOW-Free Chips & Salsa!

*Special Love vs.Hate edition*
Come witness the madness as Grudge Match returns to Marfa/Lucky Cheng's! Comedians and musicians battle it out for your hearts! Winners go home with the trophy and the glory while the losers are taken out back and shamed, and somehow have to face themselves in the morning. Only this time around we honor cupid's month with a battle featuring ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend on opposing
sides. Its Beezy vs. Jen! Music vs. Comedy!

Music by:
Joe Yoga
Kill the Band (Frigid Festival 2010)
Beezy Douglas

Comedy by:
John Murdock (Time Out NY, Playgirl, FHM)
John Knefel (Huffington Post, TrueSlant, The Onion)
Jen Perney

Hosted by Mo Diggs
Special appearance by Paulina Princess of Power

Jen Perney-Still Standing! 2/6/10

Waltz Astoria

www.waltz-astoria.com
2314 Ditmars Boulevard
Astoria, NY 11105-3336


I'm Still Standing Bitches!! Better than I ever did! :)

Very excited to be rocking out another feature set @ the Waltz Astoria, my first for 2010 baby!!!! Its the first place I ever did stand up, my home turf of sorts.

Goona be a kick ass lineup too! The night starts with the funny & awesome, Chris Wagner, followed by some comedic musical diddies by Black & White Cookies. I'll be closing out the night with the usual goods: sex, children, church, good and bad manners, and of course- some dirty balls.

Show starts 8pm $10 food/drink minimum. No Cover At Door.

Next Gig!!!!!

01/23/10 – Beezy & Friends at The Compound

January 4th, 2010

Who	Beezy & Friends at The Compound
When	Saturday, January 23, 2010 9:00pm - All Ages
Where	The Compound (map) 114 Forrest St. Suite 1B Brooklyn, NY 11206 From the L: Get off at Morgan and exit at Bogart St. Turn right onto Bogart and walk to Flushing. Cross Flushing and turn left, the next street on your right is Forrest, turn right and go up to the big red door. Call me and I'll let you in, there's no buzzer. From the JMZ: Get off at Flushing and walk east on Flushing past Bushwick and Central until you get to Forrest St. and turn right and go up to the big red door. Call me and I'll let you in, there's no buzzer.
Other Info	Come on down to my giant warehouse apartment (aka The Compound) for the first of what I hope will become a monthly show. The lineup is still somewhat of a work in progress, but here's who's definitely on board: Charley Crockett Joe Yoga Eve Blackwater Johnny Pacia Ben Williams Tim Warner Jen Perney and of course me! If you wanna pre-game with me and a bunch of the other artists, come on out to Tim Warner's new mic "Lorena Bobbitt's Dick" from 4-7:30 .