Standup Confessions

A recent show bio for me. LOL! thanks James Frederick Rose

2010-10-09T12:31:00.000-07:00

Jen Perney!! Jen is a very lively personality on stage, pushing the envelope and making you laugh at some of the most untalked about things of the sexual nature. Some call it raunchy, some call it pervy, its really just Jen Perney at her finest. She hosts/produces a monthly comedy show at the Waltz-Astoria in Queens. A great time with some of the city's best underground comics.

2010-08-23T13:13:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyqK2qJYv2U

Improvised Storytelling, featuring Mike Milazzo on guitar

2010-06-26T01:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Ms. Perney, Smutty Broad Sex Advice

2010-06-10T20:07:00.000-07:00

Question # 1 comes from :

Erik said...: How do I get my girlfriend to let me cum on her face?
PS
When I cum its alot, like Peter North ALOT; June 9, 2010 6:40 AM

Answer: So ya say you wanna spray her in the face, hey? Well I must first bring you back to a time in your memory. Remember when you were just a wee one and you'd enjoy a hot sunny day of water play in the backyard? That was always so much fun right? But then some dumbass kid would always get too excited and spray water from the hose directly on your face. Yeh.....and just as it was then, the hose down is still pretty much an un-welcomed surprise.

You could always mention to her that some fancy dancy face creams cost up to $700 that list foreskin and semen in the ingredients. VERY TRUE!!!!!

We are all very vain creatures my man.

---Over And Out---

Ms. Perney

Ask Ms. Perney- My first sex advice set

2010-05-28T19:57:00.000-07:00

Q+A With The Pernstar-Penny's Open Mic 5/11/10

2010-05-23T22:07:00.000-07:00

Next Tuesday 5/18-World's Greatest Grandson Comedy Show

2010-05-11T13:42:00.000-07:00

World's Greatest Grandson returns on Tuesday, May 18th!

"The best reason to go to Greenpoint since escaping Poland!"

This time, the jams will be kicked out by:

RG Daniels!
Jen Perney!
Shawn Jones!
Katy Olsen!
John Murdock!
Stephanie Holmes!
Ed Larson (of Murderfist)!
sketch comedy from Rue Brutalia!

Hosted by the enigmatic Bill Chambers!

@ Van Gogh's Radio Lounge
147 Franklin St (btwn India & Java)
Greenpoint, Brooklyn
G train to Greenpoint Ave
9pm
free!!
go!!

May Carnivale 5/22-6pm this time kids..

2010-05-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

This is the best one yet!

The May Carnivale is rolling into town with all new acts ready to simultaneously floor and elevate your ass! We're shaking things up again with a whole new flow to the evening. Without further ado...

The Story:

6:00 - The Doors Open
Grill ignites (open grill, bring your foodstuffs)
Hootenanny Jammin' with Joe Yoga and BZ (open stage, bring your toys)

8:00 - Opening Ceremonies
The Carnivale Theme Song
Crowning of the Random Royalty
Introducing the Rousties

The Players:

* Man pain explained by Umberto MacDougal http://www.facebook.com/pages/Umberto-MacDougal/191674025949?ref=ts

* The pleasant annihilation of your soul by Brian Sizensky's guitar and voice

* Unforgettable folk music by Charles von Rosenberg http://www.facebook.com/pages/Charles-von-Rosenberg-Music/328454279167?ref=ts

* Comedy by Liam McEneaney (producer and regular performer at Tell Your Friends) http://www.facebook.com/RadioLiam

* Sketch comedy magic (with violence) by Skinny Bitch Jesus Meeting http://www.skinnybitchcomedy.com/

* The veritable one woman variety show that is Scout Durwood http://www.scoutdurwood.com

* The Immortal Memory of Robert Burns preserved in the form of Mike Ogletree's musical storytelling http://www.immortalmemory.net

* Pure, unadulterated, heartfelt smut by Jen Perney http://www.youtube.com/plath80

* The Guitar God of Penny's Open Mic, Mike Milazzo http://www.myspace.com/mikemilazzo101

* Late Night Ramblings with the gentleman scumbag, John Murdock. http://www.youtube.com/johnmurdockonline

The Sideshows:

As always, the FEATS OF STRENGTH tournaments!
Staring, Rock/Paper/Scissors, and Thumbwrestling

Jen Perney's smutty snacks

Ritztory with Dave Ritz!

******

We're killing the sangria this month and going back to BYOB. The Compound has just had an infusion of new blood and we're going to tread lightly as to leave less footprints.

Art Show In The Heights Y'all - 5/1/10

2010-04-26T07:17:00.000-07:00

"Art Show in the Heights Y'all", This is a free show Uptown! We'll pass the hat at some point so you can show your appreciation, dont worry.

This is where comedy meets the visual arts, Uptown. Its going to be a side splitting night, with some really great art!

Hosted by Sara G, comedian and actor

Comedy:
Esther Ku- finalist on Last Comic Standing, Friar's Club Roast panel member.

Jen Perney- Host of Wet Dreams Do Come True, resident at Waltz- Astoria Cafe.

Molly Knefel--Of the monthly show @ La Poisson Rouge "John & Molly Get Along"

Visual Artists:

James Rose- painter, http://www.zhibit.org/jamesrose

Lisa Dubois- photographer, http://www.duboisphotoart.com

Eric Clark- painter, http://www.ecishere.com

Tetsuo Hasegawa- painter, http://d.hatena.ne.jp/tetsurei

Music:

Joe Yoga-half of the house band at the famous Penny's Open Mic, creator of the monthly showcase "Grudge Match- Music vs. Comedy"

BZ Douglas-Creator of the monthly showcase "The BZ Douglas Carnivale"

Saturday, May 1st, doors at 7pm, art reception till 830 then comedy till about 11 oclock.

Easiest way to get there, take the A or 1 to 168th Street stop, Plum Pomidor is right there, 4009 Broadway! Easy, easy easy.

This show is FREE!

I also suggest trying some dinner at Plum Pomidoor the food is great, its a really cool place!

Jen Perney-One Smutty Broad- @ Lucky Jack's 4/8/10

2010-04-13T13:43:00.000-07:00

One Wet, Smutty, Broad: An interview with Jen Perney

2010-03-31T22:31:00.001-07:00

One Wet, Smutty, Broad: An interview with Jen Perney

Posted using ShareThis

Jen Perney Presents: "Wet Dreams Do Come True"

2010-02-25T01:45:00.000-08:00

	Saturday, March 13, 2010
	8:00pm - 11:00pm
	Waltz Astoria
	23-14 Ditmars Boulevard
:	Astoria, N.Y. Very excited to be hosting this one night event, featuring some of the best of the best in up and coming NYC standup comedy. Featuring: Tim Warner Jaqi Furback Mike Recine Calvin S. Cato Hosted: By Your's Truly :) Waltz Astoria is a family run/family owned venue where I first got my start in standup comedy almost 1 year ago. Since then the owners and I have begun what I know will be a long standing friendship. They have offered me the opportunity to host, but better than that-BOOK a night of comedy. Thus the title "Wet Dreams Do Come True", for I am thrilled to showcase these hysterical comics, and better yet have them all perform on the same bill. Come on out and laugh your ass off. Waltz Astoria has a $10 min. for food/drink- NO COVER. However feel free to tip these fantastic artists as I pass around the hat. See you there!!

Beezy Douglas Carnivale-Saturday 2/20 @ 8:30pm

2010-02-13T15:00:00.000-08:00

So excited to announce the second Beezy Douglas Carnivale!!

Mr. Beezy Douglas has organized one hell of an idea and has nurtured it into what is now to be an amazing monthly showcase of talent from all over NYC. I have actually been lucky enough to be named "House Comic", meaning I shall always be honored with doing a 15 min. slot at the shows.

February's show looks to be even more exciting than the first. The lineup is fantastic and the visual arts this time around shall be a new focus. We have Eric Clarke painting some fantastic mural/panels ala Carnivale/Circus style and some other visuals being done by fine artist, Jackie Neon. At the rate things have been progressing, It is safe to say that these Carnivale shows should be transpiring into a sorta Warhol-esq factory of sorts. A true Carnivale with sights, sounds & art that will dazzle the eye & tickle the mind.

Join Us Saturday Feb. 20th, 2010- starting @ 8:30pm.

8:30 - BZ Douglas (http://bzdug.com)
9:00 - Eve Blackwater (http://www.myspace.com/eveblackwater)
9:30 - Cal Folger Day (http://www.myspace.com/calfolgerday)
10:00 - Pat Hull (http://pathullmusic.com/)
10:30 - Emleigh Wolf (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Umberto-MacDougal/191674025949)
10:45 - Jen Perney (http://plath80-standupconfessions.blogspot.com)
11:00 - Comandante Zero (http://www.comandantezero.com)
12:00 - Sacha Chavez (http://www.myspace.com/lordlorax)

***The very talented artist Eric Clarke will be unveiling some of the new Carnivale commissioned murals that he has been pounding out as well as doing some portraits for hire during the show. So come see/listen to the show and give some dough to an amazing talent for a one of a kind portrait to take with ya. Lets support our local artists!!***

There will be some food and spirits at the start of the show but supplies are bound to run out quickly, so BYOB bitches!

From the L:

Get off at Morgan and exit at Bogart St. Turn right onto Bogart and walk to Flushing. Cross Flushing and turn left, the next street on your right is Forrest, turn right and go up to the big red door.

From the JMZ:

Get off at Flushing and walk east on Flushing past Bushwick and Central until you get to Forrest St. and turn right and go up to the big red door.

There's no buzzer, but I'll have a list of people's numbers you can call who will be manning the door all night. Just think of it as a security measure to keep out the hooliganery.

Grudge Match 2/17/10-8pm FREE SHOW

2010-02-06T13:49:00.000-08:00

Wednesday Feb 17, 2010
8pm-10pm
Marfa Music @ Lucky Cheng's
24 First Ave @ 2nd St (F to 2nd ave)
FREE SHOW-Free Chips & Salsa!

*Special Love vs.Hate edition*
Come witness the madness as Grudge Match returns to Marfa/Lucky Cheng's! Comedians and musicians battle it out for your hearts! Winners go home with the trophy and the glory while the losers are taken out back and shamed, and somehow have to face themselves in the morning. Only this time around we honor cupid's month with a battle featuring ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend on opposing
sides. Its Beezy vs. Jen! Music vs. Comedy!

Music by:
Joe Yoga
Kill the Band (Frigid Festival 2010)
Beezy Douglas

Comedy by:
John Murdock (Time Out NY, Playgirl, FHM)
John Knefel (Huffington Post, TrueSlant, The Onion)
Jen Perney

Hosted by Mo Diggs
Special appearance by Paulina Princess of Power

Jen Perney-Still Standing! 2/6/10

2010-01-18T11:44:00.000-08:00

Waltz Astoria

www.waltz-astoria.com
2314 Ditmars Boulevard
Astoria, NY 11105-3336

I'm Still Standing Bitches!! Better than I ever did! :)

Very excited to be rocking out another feature set @ the Waltz Astoria, my first for 2010 baby!!!! Its the first place I ever did stand up, my home turf of sorts.

Goona be a kick ass lineup too! The night starts with the funny & awesome, Chris Wagner, followed by some comedic musical diddies by Black & White Cookies. I'll be closing out the night with the usual goods: sex, children, church, good and bad manners, and of course- some dirty balls.

Show starts 8pm $10 food/drink minimum. No Cover At Door.

Next Gig!!!!!

2010-01-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

01/23/10 – Beezy & Friends at The Compound

January 4th, 2010

Who	Beezy & Friends at The Compound
When	Saturday, January 23, 2010 9:00pm - All Ages
Where	The Compound (map) 114 Forrest St. Suite 1B Brooklyn, NY 11206 From the L: Get off at Morgan and exit at Bogart St. Turn right onto Bogart and walk to Flushing. Cross Flushing and turn left, the next street on your right is Forrest, turn right and go up to the big red door. Call me and I'll let you in, there's no buzzer. From the JMZ: Get off at Flushing and walk east on Flushing past Bushwick and Central until you get to Forrest St. and turn right and go up to the big red door. Call me and I'll let you in, there's no buzzer.
Other Info	Come on down to my giant warehouse apartment (aka The Compound) for the first of what I hope will become a monthly show. The lineup is still somewhat of a work in progress, but here's who's definitely on board: Charley Crockett Joe Yoga Eve Blackwater Johnny Pacia Ben Williams Tim Warner Jen Perney and of course me! If you wanna pre-game with me and a bunch of the other artists, come on out to Tim Warner's new mic "Lorena Bobbitt's Dick" from 4-7:30 .

Black Sheep Rising -@ Lucky Jack's 12/10/09

2009-12-13T13:48:00.000-08:00

next show -A Very Yoga Christmas 12/23 -8pm!!

2009-12-10T00:38:00.000-08:00

A Very Yoga Christmas!

hosted by Joe Yoga

A holiday extravaganza, produced by (a)muse collective for our friends and family, celebrating Horse Trade Theater and the madness that was 2009. and it's Jesus' birthday, so give it up! featuring music, comedy, performance art, free cupcakes and a double blind secret-santa gift exchange.

Dec. 23rd, 8pm

Free entrance with Potluck Food Offering

$5 if you simply want to eat, drink and enjoy the show.

There is a wine and beer bar for reasonably priced drinks.

94 St. Mark's Place

UNDER St. Mark's Theater

Artists Confirmed so far:
Coach (reunion set! first time on stage in over two years!)
house band and full set with Mike Milazzo and Martin Stroh
Penny Pollak
John Murdock
Tim Warner
Jen Perney
Beezy Douglas
Bamboo
Michelle Leona
Alabaster Rhumb
More to be announced...

2009-11-02T16:25:00.000-08:00

So I recently had the very unfortunate opportunity of having to "break up" with my opening act for my show on Nov. 8th. Never thought I would have to do anything of the sort but Thursday night proved interesting.

I went to go see my good friend Nate Rand do a 40 min. set, he being funny as fuck and also doing the show with me next week. I was excited to actually go out and see comedy again, not fretting over having to perform. The comic who I like a lot who was to open Nate's show was a NO SHOW! It was disappointing because I was looking forward to his set, but also very troubling for I booked him to open my show as well.

On a positive note, the owner of the club then asked me to do an impromptu 25 min. set. He thought I was saving his ass, well he saved mine! I have not been happy with a lot of my shorter sets recently at various clubs/open mics. So thought this week would be HELL! Of having to run + get up three times a night at places. I still will try to get in as much stage time as possible....but being put on the spot and asked to do a impromptu 25 min. slot proved great exercise.

However I did have to fix what he fucked up. This being my first show that I went out and did the leg work in booking myself and it sorta being my baby, I'm protective. But having this also be new to me I wasn't sure if my thoughts on replacing him were warranted. I turned to a couple of comic/actor friends who have put on they're own shows for advice. They agreed with me that yes, having to replace him was very appropriate. Thanks Guys. So... Slight change in line up now. I have filled his spot with someone I've seen around town in clubs, Mike Recine. NO joke, if there are Bill Hicks fans reading this...COME TO THIS SHOW!!! Mike has this great almost retro comic style I don't see a lot out there at the moment, ala Bill Hix, Sam Kinison. Saw him do a set last week at 3am and I was blown away. Everyone was on the verge of passing out and laughed they're asses off! Two Guys & A GRRL Do It Standing Up, should be a stand out show now!

So come on out. Bring friends! : November 8th, 8PM @ Yippies Museum Cafe
9 Bleecker Street between Bowery and Elizabeth
New York, NY
FREE SHOW!! -but they ask for donations

Showtime this Sunday!!!!

2009-11-02T16:08:00.000-08:00

Sunday, November 8, 2009

8:00pm - 11:00pm

Yippie Museum Cafe

9 Bleecker Street between Bowery and Elizabeth

Jen Perney's : Two Guys & A GRRL Do It Standing Up!

A night of Stand Up Comedy featuring;

Nate Rand

Mike Recine

and yours truly,

Jen Perney

Yippie's is a truly awesome place. Once the hangout to yippie Icons, Abbie Hoffman, Lenny Bruce and George Carlin. :)

http://yippiemuseum.org/index.html

Like the place is run by the ghost of Abbie Hoffman so there is no admission, no minimum, no cover, no hidden charges, no nothing.

So tips are greatly appreciated!!!!

The cafe doesn't have a liquor license, however we just might have some bottles of wine on hand and people can just put a few bucks in to open a bottle.

Come on down and laugh your ass off!!!

Next Gig -11/8/09

2009-10-30T00:41:00.000-07:00

Two Guys & A GRRL Do it Standing Up!

Stand Up Comedy

Oh yes folks! I wasn't done with doing it standing up just once, and certainly not by my lonesome.

	Sunday, November 8, 2009
Time:	8:00pm - 11:00pm
Location:	Yippie Museum Cafe
Street:	9 Bleecker Street between Bowery and Elizabeth
City/Town:	New York, NY

Yippie's is a truly awesome place. Once the hangout to yippie Icons, Abbie Hoffman, Lenny Bruce and George Carlin. :)

http://yippiemuseum.org/index.html

Like the place is run by the ghost of Abbie Hoffman so there is no admission, no minimum, no cover, no hidden charges, no nothing.

So tips are greatly appreciated!!!!

The cafe doesn't have a liquor license, however we just might have some bottles of wine on hand and people can just put a few bucks in to open a bottle.

Come on down and laugh your ass off!!!

Lucky Jack's 7/23/09

2009-10-23T10:16:00.000-07:00

Waltz Astoria 7/29/09

2009-10-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

Jen Perney-Sits Down 10/20/09

2009-10-23T10:06:00.000-07:00

Jen Perney Does It Standing Up Part #2

2009-10-23T09:37:00.000-07:00

Jen Perney Does It Standing Up Part #1

2009-10-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

Comic Serendipity

2009-10-12T09:15:00.000-07:00

This is too funny! The article mentions how so many comics seems to live in Astoria currently, but name drops Bushwick/Williamsburg area as well. Let's see....I started doing comedy in Astoria. I lived In W'burg. My first 1 hr. show was... @ the Waltz Astoria and I currently live in Bushwick/Ridgewood. The starts are aligned my friends.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/11/fashion/11comedian.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&hpw

Pics from A crazed week of performing.

2009-09-30T21:29:00.000-07:00

From 9/24/09 @ Mic Club in Lucky Jack's on LES.

Waltz Astoria 9/23/09.

Performing @ Yippie's Museum Cafe 11/8/09

2009-09-30T21:21:00.000-07:00

This Just in: Have gig booked for A night of comedy hosted by yrs truly :)
Featuring Nathan Rand, Brian Douglas and myself, Jen Perney.
The three of us serving it up Stand Up style.
11/8/09 @ Yippie's Museum Cafe. Start time: TBA

Yippie Museum Cafe

yippiemuseum.org

9 Bleecker Street
New York, NY 10012
(212) 677-5918

Lucky Jack's 9-24-09

2009-09-26T15:56:00.000-07:00

So this was my warmup set if you will, prior to my show the next nite on Friday the 25th.

Undoubtedly my finest 10 minute set I believe.

Penny's 9/15/09

2009-09-18T21:43:00.000-07:00

Penny's 9/8/09 NYC

2009-09-18T21:04:00.000-07:00

Waltz Astoria. 9/16/09

2009-09-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

A great week for Stand Up

2009-09-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

This week I feel has been monumental on the stand up front. Have been taking more chances. Sure some jokes, bits, stories don't always fly. But, the growth is in learning how to fail first. Last two nights have taken to chance of not really having a set to cling to whilew I'm up there. Last night's set @ Waltz Astoria, which is where my first 45 minute set will be- I took the liberty of "winging it". Started off a bit rocky. As if you are sharing the first few kisses with someone, and yr bumping in to one another's noses and the "dance" is still not graceful yet. But, along the way you find that flow that is needed to interpret the passion you feel.

I closed with some material that I know I can say I am TRULY proud of. Videos will soon be posted of these new sets. But for now have some pics to post.

practice, practice, practice.

2009-09-07T12:36:00.000-07:00

Have spent a very large majority of this holiday weekend writing news bits and practicing my set for my show. Went into the hall in my apt. this morning and roomie asks, "Have you been on the phone or talking yrself." LOL!!! In fact was talkingto myself. Reading and timing my material that I have written for the show. Of course for those who know me well, I certainly have the ability to talk for 30 minutes. But, wanna hit this shit spot on!!!
A fellow comic gave me some advice recently that I feel has really helped in my delivery while doing standup. "Jen, the crowd is like a girl you know yr goona hook up with. She's already wet, she wants it. Just fuck her!" These words are not verbatim but a cliifnotes of what he suggested.
Totally works. No need to get up there and give too much back story to things. They want the laugh. They want to get fucked. So I guess I'm a slut, because I intend to fuck them like crazy. LOL!!!!!

Allow me to introduce myself

2009-09-06T15:25:00.000-07:00

Hello All,

My name is Jen Perney. I am a Jane of all trades. Standup Comedian, specializing in the poetry of laughter. Have been doing standup for about 3 months now, and just can't get enough.
Getting ready for my first booked 30 min. slot on Sept. 25th @ the Waltz Astoria in Astoria, NY.

Will be utilizing this blog to document the writing processs and procrastination that occurs before your first "real" gig.

Mainly been performing my sets at open mics all over NYC. Will be posting where and when my daily travels should lead me to each night to perform.

Stay tuned and check out a set sometime.

Standup Confessions

A recent show bio for me. LOL! thanks James Frederick Rose

Improvised Storytelling, featuring Mike Milazzo on guitar

Dear Ms. Perney, Smutty Broad Sex Advice

Ask Ms. Perney- My first sex advice set

Q+A With The Pernstar-Penny's Open Mic 5/11/10

Next Tuesday 5/18-World's Greatest Grandson Comedy Show

May Carnivale 5/22-6pm this time kids..

Art Show In The Heights Y'all - 5/1/10

Jen Perney-One Smutty Broad- @ Lucky Jack's 4/8/10

One Wet, Smutty, Broad: An interview with Jen Perney

Jen Perney Presents: "Wet Dreams Do Come True"

Beezy Douglas Carnivale-Saturday 2/20 @ 8:30pm

Grudge Match 2/17/10-8pm **FREE SHOW**

Jen Perney-Still Standing! 2/6/10

Waltz Astoria

Next Gig!!!!!

01/23/10 – Beezy & Friends at The Compound

Black Sheep Rising -@ Lucky Jack's 12/10/09

next show -A Very Yoga Christmas 12/23 -8pm!!

Showtime this Sunday!!!!

Next Gig -11/8/09

Two Guys & A GRRL Do it Standing Up!

Lucky Jack's 7/23/09

Waltz Astoria 7/29/09

Jen Perney-Sits Down 10/20/09

Jen Perney Does It Standing Up Part #2

Jen Perney Does It Standing Up Part #1

Comic Serendipity

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/11/fashion/11comedian.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&hpw

Pics from A crazed week of performing.

Performing @ Yippie's Museum Cafe 11/8/09

Yippie Museum Cafe

Lucky Jack's 9-24-09

Penny's 9/15/09

Penny's 9/8/09 NYC

Waltz Astoria. 9/16/09

A great week for Stand Up

practice, practice, practice.

Allow me to introduce myself

Grudge Match 2/17/10-8pm FREE SHOW